Amber Heard & Johnny Depp

Ok so it's time for a rant™. TL;DR - Johnny Depp is an abusive piece of shit; the media is trying to justify it and it's disgusting; the media is being incredibly biphobic and it's disgusting; if you still stan Johnny Depp unfriend me bye.

1) Johnny Depp - Abuser - Career will be ok
Chris Brown - Abuser - Career is fine
Sean Penn - Abuser - Career is fine
Charlie Sheen - Abuser - Career better than ever
Kesha - Victim - Career ruined and taken away from her.

I'm quite frankly appalled and absolutely sick and tired of men in hollywood getting away with some horrific abuse towards partners while victims who speak out get completely ostracised. Why would any girl speak out when they see what's happening to kesha for speaking out? Why would any girl speak out when Amber Heard who has been granted a restraining order and has significant evidence submitted is being accused of lying by the media and general public? 

The media is running stories such as "Johnny Depp works a charity gala while Amber Heard goes to court"; "Amber Heard filed for divorce 2 days after Depp's mother passed away"; "Depp helps woman with hearing aid while Amber Heard breaks down in court". JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE HAS A GOOD OUTWARD APPEARANCE DOESN'T MEAN THEY CAN'T BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THEIR PARTNER AT HOME. Just because you want to paint him as a saint doesn't mean that he didn't beat Amber Heard and mentally abuse her too. 

'But statistics say women lie about this stuff all the time', no they don't. The statistics are under 2% of reported rapes turn out to be false. And rape/domestic violence is one of the most underreported crimes out there because victims don't think they'll be taken seriously and what a surprise when this is how women in the media are treated for speaking out. 

It's not even just the physical abuse either, he stopped her seeing her friends who were also LGBT+ which is clear evidence of controlling behaviour. And that brings me nicely onto point 2.

2) WHAT IS WITH THE BIPHOBIA IN THE MEDIA - bi friends have mentioned it before but I didn't think it was that bad? Just because she's bi doesn't mean that she is 'greedy' and wanted to cheat on him with girls? Like someone who's bi can be in a monogamous heterosexual relationship? 

Bisexual doesn't mean "Person needs to be in relation w 2 ppl of different genders at the same time" it means "person can be attracted to ppl of different genders" like please? She's bi she had LGBT friends because surprise that's what the B in LGBT+ stands for and bc surprise a lot of ppl are LGBT+ and you probably have at least one friend who is. Just because she was bi and pictured w other women who were also LGBT+ doesn't automatically mean she wanted to bang them because she's bi. 

And like even if Johnny Depp is that insecure of a man that he was so worried about her cheating on him with a girl that doesn't justify abuse? And that is still what we should be focussing on? I don't understand why everyone is ostracising Amber Heard because she's bisexual instead of ostracising Johnny Depp because he's an abuser?

Self Diagnosis For Mental Health Is Important

(TL;DR - self diagnosis for mental health is important and I’m sick and tired of seeing people be negative about it and I will fight you if you disagree. Stop hating on self diagnosis because it’s really frigging important especially for young people and poc.)

Self-diagnosis is not a bad thing overall. It’s actually a very important thing to know that somethings wrong with you and actively seek to figure out what’s wrong with you.

Mental health is a really really tricky thing and unlike physical illness it’s something that only the person affected by it can see a lot of the time. Depression, anxiety, eating disorders, borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, etc etc are all things which require a self diagnosis before people can go and get help for them. (Or in the case of NPD a diagnosis from the people around the person with it who are affected and for them to take the decision to cut the person out of their life).

Also unfortunately actual diagnoses for mental health are hard to get. Especially in this country contrary to what some would believe. No medical professional would have diagnosed me with anxiety and they still don’t want to and are making me jump through all kinds of hoops to get help even though I’ve literally been hospitalised as a result of it on a drip several times now.

I know several people who clearly have eating disorders and body dysmorphia - which btw are both mental illnesses that manifest themselves in physical symptoms not the other way round - who won’t get the help they desperately need because their BMI isn’t under 13. They won’t even be acknowledged by ‘professionals’ as having an ED because their weight is not deathly low at which point it’s too late for them to get help because the mental illness has such a strong strong grip on them and they relapse again and again. More people who get diagnosed with ED’s die of them than people who are diagnosed of cancer.

Self diagnosis is so so important for so many reasons: 

1) People need to acknowledge somethings wrong before they can go get help because mental health is not as easy as “Oh you have spots all over you you have chickenpox” 

2) Some people can’t go and get a professional diagnosis. And that can be because if in america they can’t afford to. Or anywhere that they won’t get the support from their family to do so. Dismissing a young person’s mental health issues - usually POC tbh bc the older generation often doesn’t believe in mental illness - because they haven’t got a “real diagnosis” is so harmful? 

3) Official diagnoses are hard to come by unless you’re at rock bottom with mental health and are manifesting some severe physical symptoms as a result of them. 

4) Self diagnosis allows you to go to the doctor tell them what you think is wrong and allow them to check and see if it fits.

Stop hating on self diagnosis because it’s really frigging important especially for young people and poc.

I can accept that sometimes some people are like “oh yh i have depression” because they felt sad one time. But A) that’s not what depression is and they most likely are neurotypical. And B) most people who have a self diagnosis for mental health are either on the way to getting a professional diagnosis or are unable to and dismissing their mental illness because you don’t think people can tell when something’s wrong with their mental state is bs.

Organisation...I do try

I like to think I'm great at organising things - mainly because I am a strong believer in lists. Truth is I'm really really not.

So a few months ago I sent a panicked message to my bff and organisation/general 'how to have your life together' guru - Amy (obviously) - asking for help. It was a long rambly -probably sent at 2am - message like "ok I need a diary but I'm really bad with them and always feel like I'm not doing it properly if I miss a day here or there and I really like lists do you have any recommendations for me" and she introduced me to the world of Bullet Journals.

After a really long time of scrolling studyblrs and looking at all of the bullet journals and watching youtube videos and going to the site I thought I'd give it a shot....it lasted about 3 days oops.

BUT, I started my final year of uni at the beginning of October and realised I really need to get myself together. So I started my bullet journal again. And I've kept it up for a whole month!!!!

Ok, so this post isn't entirely about my achievements in starting to organise myself. I thought I'd add a few tips for anyone like me who desperately wants to be organised but just can't seem to keep it up.

1) Don't beat yourself up if you miss a day or two here and there.

2) I know a lot of studyblrs are against retrospective diaries but they work. If you struggle to list all the things you need to do during the day at the start of the day, put them into your journal as you do them or at the end of the day.

3) Make your daily list twice - I start each morning with writing all of the appointments and tasks I have for the day. At the end of the day I go back and add all of the things I got done that I hadn't originally put down.

4) My twist on the bullet journal - Every Monday I write down all of the things that I need to get done during the week. I know I won't finish them in the one day but I write them down. I then use a little arrow in the text box to indicate that it will continue into the next day. I then write the task down on the following day until I get it completely done.

5) Do a weekly check. Every Saturday morning sit down and go through your weeks journal and see that it's all been checked off and if it hasn't you have 2 days to complete it before the week is over.

6) This is most important for me - Make it pretty! 

I am simple but I am an enigma.

I’m an introvert, but I’m an extrovert.

I thrive in social situations, but I adore being alone.

I’m a listener, but I’m a talker

I’m a papergirl, but I’m a girl made of steel

I’m fiercely loyal, but I’m not afraid to let go.

I’m protective, but I need to be protected.

I’m fragile, but I’m unbreakable.

I’m brave, but I’m afraid.

I have a heart of gold, but a heart of stone.

I am a human and I am full of contradictions.

I am not made to fit in a box and neither are you.

Happiness is more than a single destination...

What is happiness? Like truly think about it for a minute. We will all have different answers. Some might be, “being financially stable”, others, “achieving all my academic goals”, for some it may even be, “having a family”, but all of these answers would be wrong.

Happiness isn’t a goal, it’s not quantifiable, and it’s more than anything you can think of. You don’t achieve happiness it’s not something you unlock when you reach a goal. It’s an emotion just like sadness and anger and hurt. You will never be truly happy as long as you base your happiness on achievements.

But you also need to remember being truly happy doesn’t mean that you are in a constant state of euphoria and happiness. It means that the bad days no longer become bad months.

You are human, you will hurt, things will happen that will make you sad, there will be days where it seems the world is against you. Don’t give up. Just because at that single moment in time you are struggling with whatever you struggle with it doesn’t mean you can’t be happy.

Sit, breathe, open a window, get some fresh air into your system, think about all the things you can be grateful for, be content, happiness will follow.

xo

Wanderlust

I think the first thing that got me attracted to the idea of busy cities like new york/london is that i could lose myself in all the people but now i'm feeling like it's more than that like maybe i could actually find myself there

So I was lucky enough to spend 2 weeks over the Christmas holidays in New York City and had such a good time. Every aspect felt like a dream and I really had a lot of time to reflect while I was there. Currently having some issues with getting the photos off my phone too my mac but I am working on a couple of long posts about my time and thoughts there. I just wanted to share the above sentence that came about while having a heart to heart with Amy.

xoxo

Goals

So I’m very bad at making small sub-goals and generally aim for huge goals which I never get round to achieving because I don’t really know how to get there. So with the help of a couple of friends I now have 2 big goals with individual sub goals relating to each.

1       Med School

a.       Get at least a 2:1 in university (I’m really aiming for a first)

b.      Get up to 6 months work experience

c.       Work on GAMSAT/UKCAT

d.      Gain interview practice

2       Specialize in Psychiatry

a.       Make all dissertations psychology based

b.      Pass Med school

c.       Get onto Psych ward rotations for Junior years

d.      Make good impressions on Psych wards

e.      Gain Psych ward registrar qualifications

f.        Apply for a job on a Psych ward in the UK

g.       Apply for a transfer to US after 2 years’ experience

I need to keep reminding myself that this is a long term thing – 6 years+ at least I think – and it’s not going to happen overnight.  So this is my check list and as I achieve these things I’ll come back to this post and cross them out as a visual reminder of how far I’ve come.

(PS I will be writing and uploading another one of these sub-goal posts for the other direction I am thinking about going in, which is Law. I am still very conflicted on which route I want to take in the future. Having a solid set of goals for each option will possibly make the decision easier and mean there is less to think about when I finally do make a decision).

How to get motivated....and stay motivated

So I've got a couple of really big and interesting projects lined up for the near future as well as uni exams, ergo I may not be blogging as much but I realised I like it way to much to just completely stop after starting so recently. I'll blog as frequently as possible and might have more time now considering I'm not splitting all my time between huge projects and university (my first year is already over what???).

Anyway to the point of this post motivation! I don't know about any of you guys but I seem to get these short periods where I feel like " Yeah! I'm so motivated! I'm gonna do everything I need to do! Wooo!" and then like an hour later I'm back in bed on netflix watching gossip girl (which I surprisingly still haven't finished yet). So here are some of my tips on how to stay motivated.

1) DO NOT SAY YOU NEED THE INTERNET TO REVISE!!!! You can easily get everything you need from books suggested in your reading lists. So switch that internet off disconnect your computer from the wifi and work hard.

2) YOU DO NOT NEED YOUTUBE!!! If you want to listen to music download it and listen to it on an ipod. If you put youtube on well there goes any productivity for the next 4 hours (unless it's this 9hr video of the harry potter soundtrack

3) PUT YOUR PHONE AWAY!!! Get someone to take it away from you for a few hours if you have to you can reply to those tweets and check your instagram later you do not need to do it right away not even as part of your 10 minute break.

Also my dad linked me to this article and I just thought I'd share this excerpt from it:

"If you don't believe that you have achieved anything particularly remarkable by age 17, that's okay, too. We hadn't heard of most world leaders by the time they reached 17. Part of the journey of life is finding the area in which we can make the biggest, most positive contribution and then following through with this awareness.

What's important to know is that by developing who you are on the inside, you will affect your external experience. 

Making a commitment. Working towards a goal with consistent, conscious actions. Being kind to yourself and to others. These are the things that matter. These are the things that will determine your success in the bigger scheme of life."

24 hour lockdown

Nowadays, people are rarely seen without some form of access to electronics and the internet. Whether you're at school, sat on the bus, the tube, university, work, the list goes on you will always be within reaching distance of a computer/laptop/tablet/phone all easily connected to the internet. In our obsession to instagram and tweet moments we often miss out on actually enjoying the thing. I mean yeah you might have the memory but you're missing vital time enjoying it in the presence.

I, along with my family, therefore have a complete switch off from internet and all electronics are put away and yes that includes no TV at least once a month. The only one we trust to hide everything is my mother, and I must say she has some good hiding places - it also helps she takes the batteries out and hides them separately to the devices.

Admittedly the first time it was hard I mean no tumblr or instagram how could I live?! But the more we did the more we all enjoyed it. We actually sat down at the table at dinner time and talked. We spent the day playing board games and joking around the whole family.

It's honestly worth trying and even if you can't quite convince your family just yet do it yourself. Take one day and read a good book or just spend time thinking without any distractions. It's amazing how much you get done without the internet even though most of us claim to be unable to work without it.

A very delayed character post #2

THE HUNGER GAMES SPOILER ALERT (although...there are books you could have read)
"Primrose Everdeen"..."I VOLUNTEER" this was the moment I sold my heart to another book series. The first one was amazing, the second one was the worst and the third was mneh. But the whole way through from the moment Katniss first volunteered as tribute for her little sister I created an unbreakable bond with her character.

Everyone constantly debates the whole Peeta or Gale aspect of the book and who Katniss should have chosen and if she chose the right person. Honestly my view on this neither of them...she settled for the one who would understand what she went through better. Her choice, however was never which boy she should marry but if she could save her sister. Gale knew the moment his idea killed her he had no chance. (I still think he shouldn't have given up that easy but they all went through so much I'm not surprised).

I have a little sister and Katniss' repetitive choices to get home to her sister safe, to keep her sister safe after without hesitating is really really something I relate to. I can say with a broken heart after Katniss lost her father, her sister and was exiled I don't know how she kept living. She is a fighter and a female character who I will always hold in the highest regard. She lost everything and somehow managed to keep going.

I don't think there's much more I can say about her other than even if you don't like the book, even if you hate the films, or the actors in it, whatever. At least take a page out of this book and her character development. If things get tough, if you lose everything, even your reason for living, never give up. Do everyone who you love proud and show anyone who doubted you wrong.

Organisation

I know I've said this before and I will probably say it a million more times but I am sick and tired of having such a messy life. It really affects my studies and everything else. Why the sudden realization Dinah? Well I was inspired by this photo Belle posted on instagram.

I've tried a million different things to stay on top of my work and all of them fail miserably after the first two weeks. So I will be creating a post in one months time detailing my attempt at using these sheets which can be found to download and print here.

So far I have filled out four of these - one for each module - and come to the unnerving realisation that I have a law exam at the end of this year which counts for 100% of my final module result!!! To say I've been kick started into panic mode would be an understatement.

Wish me luck I may have only 4 weeks of fullish lectures left of my first year (seriously where the hell did the time go?!) but I have a feeling these may be the toughest to get through.

Weekly Character Post 1

When it came to writing this post I realised Spencer Hastings is not the only female character I have a strong appreciation for and connection with. So I thought instead of trying to write about them all in one post I could make it a weekly thing. Every Friday - hopefully - I'll be writing a post on some of my favourite female characters. Introduction out the way let's start with Spencer Hastings.

PLL SPOILER ALERT

In last weeks episode of pretty little liars I couldn't help but notice how tired Spencer looked. She still managed to look damn flawless but also tired. The end of the episode where we saw her tirelessly working through Alli's notebook really clicked with me. Although not in the same situation her determination and ability to focus on something without giving up is a quality I feel I possess. However it can be negative and have a detrimental effect. Trust me very few people manage to look as good as Spencer does with no sleep. She was starting to look like she did when she was in Radley, her complete lack of emotion and breakdown which led her there really hit home for several reasons but I could completely understand her sudden change.

As an all girls grammar school graduate I clicked with Spencer and her ideology of B is bad. Growing up and being constantly told you're talented is great...until you get one bad mark and suddenly you're not that talented anymore. I mean in most peoples eyes a B is really good - like Emily tries to tell Spencer - but for Spencer and me and some others a B is not good enough especially when you've spent your whole life with an unblemished academic record. It's a quality in some ways I'm glad I share with Spencer but once again it's a quality which can easily get out of control.

Another thing I adore about Spencer is her impeccable fashion taste most of the time, the dress in season 4s Halloween episode was less than flattering sorry! She's honestly inspired a whole wardrobe change for me - still in progress. Honestly whenever I go shopping now I think to myself "hmm would Spencer wear that?", I have a long way to go for a full wardrobe overhaul but I'm getting there.

Thirteen Reasons Why

Books are honestly my one true love - along with Pepsi max...and chicken...and harry styles shh. I was recently recommended a book by my best friend 'Thirteen reasons why' By Jay Asher. Now there had been a fair bit of hype about this book in the past and therefore I wasn't sure if I would ever get round to reading it. I tend to procrastinate things which have been over-hyped.

However, when my friend turned up to a lunch date - that included chicken and Pepsi - with her copy of the book in hand for me to read I couldn't exactly refuse. The moment I got home I made myself comfortable and read the 288 page book in less than 4 hours. It would have been quicker but I had to keep pausing to deal with the emotions it was causing.

I would honestly be willing to recommend this book to anyone. It's incredibly sad and everyone should give it a read. It will give you a whole different outlook on your actions. There were many memorable parts of this book, but the strongest message I took from it...you never know when it's the last time you'll see someone.

Dinah xo

All great things start with a list

To say my organizational skills require help would be an understatement. No matter how many timetables I make for revision or daily work I can never stick to them.

The one thing that seems to really work for me is making lists. Lists are one of my favourite ways through which I can to some extent organize myself.


For the new academic year me and Amy paid a visit to Muji where I found the most perfect list notepad. If you haven't purchased anything from there I sincerely recommend you check them out.

I make a list twice daily every morning and every night...as well as throughout the day when I need an extra boost. They allow me to see what needs to be done during the day, without allocating a set time which I would undoubtedly end up procrastinating through.

What better way to end this post than with a list saying why lists are great!
● Sense of accomplishment - You get to tick off what you have done as you do it
● Allows you to procrastinate while still having daily goals for what needs to be completed
● You can use all kinds of pretty list making things like the muji sticky notes one which can be found here

Dinah xo

All work and no play...

Firstly, I'd like to apologise for the lack of posts over the past week. I've been incredibly busy with uni deadlines and exams.

I think at this point of the academic year - after 12 years in education I don't do calendar year anymore -people can easily lose track of goals and forget why they're even studying in the first place.
What with all the coursework stress - I acknowledge it was my fault for procrastinating - and  exam revision I know it's happened to me this year.

Today I started to realise just how much I'd fallen out of love with my degree. But don't worry I have found a solution for that! I think I need to get out into society and take part in work experience, remind myself why I'm doing this degree. The answer will always be to help people but sometimes everyone needs a little reminder.

So my advice to anyone who reads this I get it's sometimes very tough to want to keep going but always remember the end  goal, and to do that I have 2 tips:

1) Print out pictures of where you want to be in 1,5,10 years make a future timeline on your wall. Everyone focuses on the past but ultimately you cant change that you can change the future so do what you need to get there!

2) Get out, do work, find things that you want to do no matter what you're doing spend time doing work experience in the field you want. I know work experience can be awful and nothing like a real job but it can help being surrounded by people doing what you want.

My last piece of advice never forget your past - but don't let the past define you or rule you, you can change anything and everything. It's all well focusing on the future but sit down every now and again to remember how far you've actually come.  Sometimes it can seem like you haven't moved at all if you look at yourself in the present but look at where you started and you'll feel motivated  again. I'm finally where I want to be after 7 very long years and whenever I feel like I'm going nowhere I have to remember that, so do all of you.

Dinah xo

Be Nice, Smile More

Yesterday I decided to read some of the news on the BBC website as opposed to just reading The Skimm article that is sent to my E-mail every morning. I was shocked and quite distraught at a number of the articles I read about bullying. Instead of the matter being successfully tackled and bullying reports decreasing it seems to be going in the opposite direction; and with the internet it doesn’t just stop at the school gates.

As someone who has been bullied in the past this topic hasn’t always been an easy one to talk about. But as my little sister goes to school every day I can’t help but be worried that she may be getting bullied. In fact whenever I see anyone going into a school my heart breaks for them because some of us are pushed into an environment where no one likes us and we’re expected to keep good grades, have friends and do things. Now I know it’s not like this for everyone not everyone is bullied and not everyone is a bully but I’m talking about the people who are. The people who are continuously knocked down day after day after day and are still expected to go into school every morning. But it’s fine because these are ‘the best years of our lives’ right?

It’s all good hearing the repeated mantra from parents and various other adults that “sticks and stones may break your bones but names will never hurt you”, but that’s not true. Words are worse than any physical injury. Yes if someone beats the crap out of you, you may break a bone but broken bones heal. It’s the mental scars that are left behind which are much worse.

Kids mortified to go into school because who knows what’s going to happen to them. Kids not able to go online because the moment they sign up for any social media all they get is hate telling them to die telling them they’re worthless. Is that something any of us would want siblings or our own kids in the future to be living with?

If you have never been bullied and you read this thinking it can’t be that bad honestly I’m happy for you. Ignorance really is bliss after all. But if you know what I’m talking about; if you’ve ever pretended to be sick because you didn’t want to have to go into school I hope you’re willing to try and make a change.

It’s all well people telling me “you’re in university now why are you worried about what happens to
them it’s just society”. We are society; we are the only people who can change this. I want bullying to be a rare occurrence that’s dealt with by schools properly not a common thing. Until then gifted beautiful teenagers are going to keep getting hurt; keep getting disorders such as depression and anorexia; keep dying because when they’re crying there’s no one to pick them up only people to push them over the edge.

We all need to be kinder to each other only through actions can anything change. You never know what battles a person is facing quietly don’t unnecessarily upset them further. The simple message be nice and smile more.

A's Back xxx

I would like to dedicate this to my love of Aria’s shoes; Hannah’s fashion – and common – sense; and one of my all-time favourite TV characters Spencer.

I must say I was a little disappointed with the episode. I think because I watched the show from the beginning of series 1 to the episode before the mid-season break in about two weeks I wasn’t prepared for the looooonnnngggg wait. I had forgotten half of what had happened in the previous episodes and was very confused for parts of it. Don’t worry I have since read the wiki plots for the series to refresh my memory and watched the episode again.

As usual Spencers outfits were pretty much perfect and Aria brought back the crazy leggings she seems to love so much. Hanna once again demonstrated a tiny bit of common sense that none of the liars seem to have.

 

The end of the episode was extremely heart breaking and I’m still not fully over it. I think I need more chocolate and ice cream to deal with it than Hanna does.

Stay tuned for a post on my love of Spencer xo